No Onion, No Cry: Finally, a Solution to Kitchen Tears

British supermarket ASDA will be stocking its shelves with a new, milder breed of allium that was 20 years in the making.

(Photo: Shioguchi/Getty Images)

Feb 9, 2015· 0 MIN READ
Josh Scherer has written for Epicurious, Thrillist, and Los Angeles magazine. He is constantly covered in corn chip crumbs.

The first 10 minutes of Up; the last 10 minutes of Marley & Me; doing the prep work for French onion soup. All are guaranteed to make you cry your eyes out.

Thanks to farmer Alastair Findlay of Bedfordshire Growers, you can scratch one of those hyper-emotional moments off the list. (It’s the onion one; he can’t do much about Marley & Me.) Findlay spent more than 20 years developing the perfect breed of onion that won’t lead to tear-stained counters. After taste testing 400 to 500 bulbs each growing season, he finally nailed it.

The British supermarket ASDA will be stocking its shelves with 40 tons of the milder, sweeter breed of red onion this week. But these easier-on-the-eyes veggies, which came about through traditional breeding rather than genetic engineering, aren’t just a novelty—apparently they taste good too.

“Like the USA, the UK has a sweeter palate than most so will appreciate the same tangy flavour, without the strong acidity of some onions,” vegetable buyer Andy Wareham said in a report by The Daily Mail. “Introducing the UK's very first sweet red onion is a fantastic achievement.”

If this wasn’t already the best news of the decade for onion aficionados, these sweet reds will also let you forgo the dreaded onion breath. This is vindication for every date night that you deliberately omitted cipollinis from Grandma’s famous coq au vin recipe.

There is no word of when the new onion breed might hit American shelves, but surely our nation’s top farmers and scientists will start working on it immediately.