The second issue of al-Qaeda’s online English language magazine, Inspire, hit newsstands this week with 74 virtual pages of jihadi-interest stories, interviews, and DIY guides on how to kill Americans.
The rag rolled out a new, ambitious look since its first pressing, with enough clip art and fancy typesetting to finally convince critics that Inspire is produced by an actual computer, and not an Atari 6500.
Most things, however, haven’t changed; Inspire is still thankfully ad-free (unless you count cover-to-cover propaganda for radical Islam as "advertising"), and its authors still really, really hate infidels. A lot.
For those fortunate enough not to end up with a copy of al-Qaeda's US Weekly, TakePart takes one for the team and rehashes three of its more memorable features.
“I Am Proud to Be a Traitor to America,” page 45
Last year, 24-year-old Samir Khan left his home in North Carolina to join the ranks of al-Qaeda.
He ended up as the organization's editor-in-chief.
In his feature story for Inspire, Khan retraces the steps of his jihad-inspired journey, including the moment he realized he was “al-Qaeda to the core”–with extra syrup.
“I looked out the window at the tall mud houses below the beautiful sky and closed my eyes as the wind blew through my hair. I took a deep breath to let it all out. At that moment, I realized that my entire life would be changed by this one decision of mines [sic]. I was about to officially become a traitor of the country I grew up in for most of my life.”
Pulitzer not forthcoming, Khan arguably has a decent chance to write a paperback romance or two, so long as he keeps the gory stuff to a minimum. Of course, that’s unlikely from a guy who is “actively aware that body parts have to be torn apart, skulls have to be crushed and blood has to be spilled” in holy war.
“The Ultimate Mowing Machine,” page 53
Evidently a holdover column from the magazine’s first issue, the "Open Source Jihadi" section advises upstart radicals on how to wage their own holy wars.
In this installment, writer Yahya Ibrahim suggests using a refitted pickup truck “as a mowing machine, not to mow grass but mow down the enemies of Allah.”
Ibrahim’s plan is barely out of third grade: get a four-wheel-drive, weld some butcher blades to its front end, then drive down a crowded sidewalk.
"To achieve maximum carnage, you need to pick up as much speed as you can while still retaining good control of your vehicle," he instructs. "The ideal location is a place where there are a maximum number of pedestrians and the least number of vehicles."
Three pages later, Ibrahim tells lone-wolf jihadis to open fire on Washington, D.C., restaurants during lunch breaks, which “might end up knocking out a few government employees.”
No word on whether Ibrahim receives pay or college credit for his editorial contributions.
“Legitimate Demands: Barack’s Dilemma,” page 69
Mr. President, if you’re taking requests, American al-Qaeda wannabe Adam Gadahn has six that he’d like you to fill. Or else.
Southern California native Gadahn has a hatred for America that is almost as intense as his enthusiasm for commas. But for some reason, perhaps newsroom politics, Inspire buried his to-do list for Obama deep in the magazine’s rear, mere pages before what can only be described as an earnest but failed attempt at jihadi love song lyrics.
“Fourth: You must seize [sic] all interference in the religion, society, politics, economy, and government of the Islamic world. This means putting an immediate stop to the deployment of your Economic Hit men [sic], CIA jackals, Peace Corp volunteers, US Aid Employees, and UN and US sponsored [sic] nongovernmental [sic] organizations.”
For all the detail in Gadahn’s list, he fails to make clear whether his demands speak for all radical Muslims, or just the ones from Orange County.
Comments