“The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors.”

Article 2, Section 4. – The Constitution of the United States of America
[written by a bunch of old white guys who epitomized utter awesomeness]

So here we are.

Day 18 of the Obama Administration.

How’s that working out for you, America?

Let’s review. . .

• 150,000 jobs already lost since “President” Obama almost took his oath of office on January 20.
• Iran launched its first satellite (Pretty sure “Death to America” was painted on the side, right next to “NCC-1701”)
• At least the Cabinet is all in place. Oh wait. No. It’s not.
• It can fairly be stated that the Administration’s economic recovery plans are certifiably insane, since Donald Trump agrees with them.
• Hang on, hang on. Looks like Osama Bin Laden’s been caught! Oh wait. No. He hasn’t.

It’s clear what needs to be done.

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PETA and their allies in the vegetable-industrial complex just tried to pull a fast one on the United States. But the United States is smarter than that. We were smarter than the Russkies, smarter than those aliens in Independence Day, and we’re certainly smarter than the wildly wrongheaded vego-terrorists who think consuming animal flesh is sinful. Hello?! Meat eating is in the Bible, for Christ’s sake (“let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle” – Genesis 1:26), right between the part where the old man who lives in the sky created the entire planet, day time, night time, all the fish and all the birds in 96 hours, and the part where the talking snake shows up.

The raw materials for awesomeness

A thing of beauty. All 27,000 calories of it.

The interior of the Bacon Explosion. Or your arteries after eating one.

So PETA went and created a Super Bowl TV ad that was not only blasphemous, but wholly tasteless (pun intended – have you ever actually EATEN cauliflower? It’s like petrified sofa cushions, but without the flavor.) Predictably, the Chlorophyll Mafia’s commercial was denied a slot on the Second Holiest Day of the Year (surpassed only by March 10 – Chuck Norris’ birthday). While props go to the network behind such quality programming as “Kath & Kim” and “Lipstick Jungle” for refusing to air such filth, that did not stop the wildly offensive ad with its jiggling, undulating lady parts from SOMEHOW making its way online. Coincidence, PETA? No! Sickening, PETA! For shame! The Internet is no place for scantily clad women!

But thank goodness some true Americans stepped up. They won’t stand for the antics of the dictatorship of the vegetariat. Mark this day as the day we fought back against herbaceous oppression. Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado …The Bacon Explosion

God Bless America.

The national unemployment rate is 7.2%. Job losses are at their highest annual level since World War II. Even a Kennedy can’t get a political gig.

So one might think that the “Obama Administration” (still getting used to saying THAT) might be just a wee bit interested in creating as many jobs as possible.

Oh, wait.

That’s what a REASONABLE Administration would want. But then there are those who would rather consign the Land of the Free to become China’s largest province (albeit with extra cheese).

We’re looking at you, Mr. Man from Hawaii. Or Indonesia. Or wherever you claim to have been born.

Because despite 2.6 million jobs lost in 2008 (thank you very much, Democratic-controlled Congress), despite the fact that Uncle Sam’s picture has been replaced by a Norwegian who underbid on the “America’s national symbol” contract…

Some Norwegian guy

and despite outgoing Administration staffers being forced to take positions at Abercrombie & Fitch — where valued Bush team hallmarks such as absolute, unquestioning loyalty and strict ideological purity don’t mean Jack if they don’t come with rock-hard abs (which we KNOW were not a priority in 43’s White House) …

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Now that their guy — you know, The One – is firmly ensconced in the ultimate seat of power (he moved Cheney’s chair into the Oval Office), the Hollywood liberal elite are showing their true stripes. And you can be certain those stripes are not red, white and blue. More like the color of whatever Satan happens to be wearing today - undoubtedly some sort of hellfire- and brimstone-hued ensemble. (Maybe with a little mauve just to make it “pop.”)

The Oscar nominations were announced today, and they just go to prove that the chardonnay-swilling purveyors of so-called entertainment are wildly out of touch with the U.S. of A. In no particular order, here are their latest crimes…

Holy Snub, Batman – Yes, yes, The Dark Knight got 8 nominations. But no Best Picture. No Best Director. In sum, no respect. While I have not seen this movie, some have posited that The Dark Night is an allegory for the Bush Administration’s fight against terrorism. So it should come as no surprise that the 43rd-President-hating entertainmentigentsia want to diss The Batman. Those people are clearly in legion with the Joker and want to do harm not only to Gotham City, but to your freedom.

Speaking of the Joker, the one high-profile nomination The Dark Knight received was for Heath Ledger’s performance. Now, with all due respect to Ledger’s memory and the real tragedy of the all-too-young death of a true talent, it is SO friggin’ typical that he would get a nod. Why?

For starters, he’s a foreigner. The creative types are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over anything that’s not Made in America. Like their Priuses. Their imported beer. Their nannies. (And don’t let the fact that Ledger spoke English fool you. It’s called “acting.”)

Most importantly, he played a gay cowboy. And do they love them some gay cowboys in Hollywood…

Exhibit Y.M.C.A.

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On January 20, 2009, these United States shall witness truly a historic day.

But it’s not about what the mainstream media have led you to believe.

The first black President?

Yawn.

The first post-Baby Boom Commander In Chief?

Whoop-dee-s%^t.

The first President who looks decent with his shirt off?

Not even. How quickly we forget: Teddy Roosevelt was a TOTAL piece of ass:

Like I said. PIECE. OF. ASS!

(Now you know why they called him “Teddy Bare.” Rrrrowrrrrr)

No, on January 20, 2009, the Presidential Inauguration will demonstrate in the starkest terms possible just how the Obama Administration will destroy America.

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These are dark times for these United States.

War in Iraq. Stock market going all Louganis. War in Afghanistan. Home foreclosures driving little old ladies to shoot themselves. War against Iran if Dick Cheney gets his 2008 Christmas wish. And Tampa Bay is four wins from the World Series.

Apocalypse, if not now, may be really friggin’ soon. (Tampa Bay?! Srsly?)

Despite the impending calamity, our nation — President Ronald Wilson Reagan’s shining city upon a hill — looks ahead optimistically. As cool fall air blows and the leaves turn, we gird ourselves for the next installment in our democratic tradition: Town Hall Smackdown ‘08! — Barack Despite What the MSM Say, My Middle Name Really Is Hussein Obama versus John Can I Finally Go Balls-Out Negative On This Punk (Like The Viet Cong Did To Me, As You Might Recall)? McCain. Truly, prosperity is just around the corner.

Yet before we bid farewell to last week’s VP undercard, an overlooked portion of that debate deserves closer examination. While it did not go completely unnoticed, it was obscured by BlinkGate, Say-It-Ain’t-So-Joe-Mania, and Exceeding-Preposterously-Low-Expectations-Palooza. And it portends doom for the Land of the Free.

Two simple words…

Biden cried.

You saw it. 70 million of you saw it. Well, minus the ones who flipped to Ace Of Cakes.

What in the holy name of Brian’s Song was THAT about? Senator, just who do you think you are? Hillary?

In a post-9/11 world, crying does not cut it.

You know who cries?
This guy:

France - 0 for 2 and counting

Here’s the caption of this photo (from the National Archives):
A Frenchman weeps as German soldiers march into the French capital, Paris, on June 14, 1940.”

A Frenchman weeps.

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