Former “American Idol” contestant Paula Goodspeed was found dead in her car outside of Paula Abdul’s home Tuesday night. Goodspeed apparently committed suicide by taking a large dose of prescription pills.

Goodspeed supposedly had a psychiatric history which included an obsession with Paula Abdul. Goodspeed appeared on the fifth season of “American Idol” where she was ridiculed and rejected and many believe this poor treatment led Goodspeed to her death. Here’s the footage from Goodspeeds American Idol appearance.

Honestly, I’m surprised something like this hasn’t happened sooner. I stopped watching most competition style reality shows because they make me feel so bad for some contestants. I mean, did Simon really have to make lame remarks about her braces? Fine, the girl was not a good singer, but shaming contestants for the sake of ratings is cruel and sadly, very common.

On ABC.com there is a video in which Psychoanalyst, Bethany Marshall explains Goodspeeds behavior- “If you have personality disordered, fragile, vulnerable contestant who is very sensitive to criticism and you put the image of them being criticized on Youtube, on TMZ, plastered in front of millions of people. They’re not teflon coated. They cannot handle it.” Right, but my question is, who can handle it? Really? I don’t have a personality disorder and I would f-ing flip out if I were degraded on national television. I couldn’t handle being made fun of all over the Internet. I mean when someone leaves a not-so-supportive comment on one of my blog entries or gives one of my Youtube comedy videos less than four stars, I crack. Hell, I get insulted when I drunk homeless man calls me a “bitch” for not sparing any of my change. Point is, NO ONE LIKES TO BE CRITICIZED! Especially not in public! And making fun of someones appearance on TV? That’s just mean.

So why do millions of people put themselves in situations where they are set-up for possible public embarrassment? Well, it’s because not all competition show contestants are shamed. Some get praised. Some are treated with respect. Some actually go onto to have successful careers thanks to the exposure and support they received on a reality competition show. Seeing the positive possibility in auditioning for reality TV is attractive. However, once you sign that TV waiver you have no idea of knowing if you’ll be portrayed as a star or a sucker.

We may wonder “doesn’t that person know they aren’t talented enough to win?” the answer ( I think) is -no. I mean, some people get blind-sighted by hope. And sure, a competition is inevitably going to include rejection. And sure, if someone is trying to make it as a pop star or professional dancer or top designer or whatever they are aiming for, and that person does not have the skills to “make it” then judges can tell them, but do it in a compassionate way. I think shows like Top Chef and Project Runway for the most part do a great job of focusing on the craft and constructive feedback. But some other shows where a panel painfully picks contestants apart? Horrible.

Clearly there were other factors surrounding Paula Goodspeed’s suicide, but I think her on-air embarrassment added to her depression. American Idol did not kill this poor girl, but do I think AI can be pretty nasty and severely hurt a persons self-esteem? Absolutely.

If you or someone you care about is dealing with suicidal thoughts and/or you want to help prevent suicide takepart and visit save.org The mission of SAVE is to prevent suicide through public awareness and education, reduce stigma and serve as a resource to those touched by suicide.