Smoke and Hot Air: The Biggest Climate Conspiracy of All

Yeah, there are crackpots calling global warming a sham, but how is our inaction serving them?

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Smoke and Hot Air: The Biggest Climate Conspiracy of All
“We know we cannot go on like this, but who is going to take the hit to their living standards to implement a solution?” (Photo: Petar Kujundzic/Reuters)

Let’s just assume, for a moment, that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change is chasing a white rabbit. Let us dismiss the conclusions of these United Nations scientists, whose examination of environmental data has led them to state, unequivocally, that climate change is man-made.

Let’s imagine these researchers and academics are worse than mistaken. Let us entertain the possibility that they know they are wrong.

Most of the declared Republican presidential candidates have indicated they are climate skeptics of one shade or another.

At least two of them have said, on record, that they believe man-made climate change is a “hoax.” A conspiracy.


Wow. Or rather, why?

Conspiracies are traditionally concocted by a shadowy, elite ruling class that manipulates every aspect of our waking existence.

Take the number of adherents to the concept of a New World Order, a secret cabal of international bankers and politicians (or lizardlike aliens, as you wish) who put fluoride in the water, control the world’s money markets and invent organizations like al-Qaeda to keep us scared and hating.

Unfortunately, it seems the man-made climate change conspirators have a completely different agenda to the New World lot, and this is where it all starts to unravel.
If a bunch of international bankers (or free-market aliens) really do run the world, quashing a man-made climate-change hoax ought to be an afternoon’s work. And if there really were a global conspiracy concocted by a scientific and political clique that is conning us into believing in man-made global warming, the hoaxers are clearly not doing their jobs very well, because large chunks of the world’s population don’t give two hoots.

But the idea of such a hoax, or conspiracy, appears to be a perfectly legitimate position for a potential President of the United States to hold; so let’s persevere.

Who exactly is propagating the “myth” of man-made climate change? What’s in it for Them?

Theory 1: Money. The hoax is all a scientist-serving gravy train. Climate scientists will only get funding for research by panicking governments into throwing money at them, and businesses in the environmental sector can only expand if the duped masses accept there is a need for green products. Supporters of man-made global warming are effectively promising imminent catastrophe in order to put their kids through school.

Theory 2: Fear. Man-made global warming is a bandwagon the left have jumped on, exploiting the common man’s anxiety in order to get their liberal hands on the levers of power and keep us cowed and afraid.

Theory 3: Communism. Man-made global warming is a Marxist conspiracy to shackle free-market capitalism.

Give conspiracies like the one above five seconds thought, and they quietly fold in on themselves. Without five seconds of thought, they persist.

So, the theory is that cheerleaders for man-made global warming don’t have our or our planet’s best interests at heart. They are actually spreading evil propaganda to generate cash by exploiting fear in order to bring about a worldwide communist state, probably through the offices of the United Nations.

And they’re very, very sneaky about what they do: Not one employee or delegate from the U.N. member states that participated in the United Nations Conference on the Human Environment, the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, the World Meteorological Organisation, the United Nations Environment Programme or the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change across the past four decades has blown the whistle on this giant scam. Not one.

Give conspiracies like the one above five seconds thought, and they quietly fold in on themselves. Without five seconds of thought, they persist.

The colorful idiots crying hoax are contributing to a sideshow. But the sideshow rolls on.

Why do we let them get away with it? It’s time to confront our own inconvenient truth. We are all in denial.

Some politicians pander to our ignorance, some to our fear. If you think climate change is a hoax, you’ll vote one way; if you are concerned, you’ll vote another.

We’ll endorse whatever rhetoric chimes with our own prejudices, but when it comes down to it, we still haven’t given our politicians permission to do anything. That’s why our leaders can inflame the language of the debate to cartoonish levels, crying “conspiracy” or “disaster,” “hoax” or “emergency” where it suits them.

They know that the moment office is won, no real part of the electorate will find the choices that need to be made about climate change remotely palatable; so nothing really changes, or if it does, it’s too little, too late.

We know we cannot go on like this—heating up the atmosphere with our fervid consumption—but who is going to take the hit to their living standards to implement a solution?

We get the politicians we deserve. Until we acknowledge that dealing with man-made climate change involves making hard personal choices about the way we live, the tenor of the debate will be kept shrill and stupid.

 It’s our own conspiracy of inertia that’s the most plausible of all.