Teachers Tell Us the Funniest Things Kids Ever Said to Them

Our teacher readers let us in on the good stuff—and, well, you might pee your pants.

(Photo: Canavan/Getty Images)

When we asked the teachers in our Facebook community for the funniest things their students ever said to them, we did not fully remember how hilarious kids could be. We spent a long time smiling at the moments of classroom imagination, confusion, and honesty that all these responses represented, and then, as hard as it was, we picked 10 of our favorites. Here's to the heartwarming and really funny business of learning.

One of my kindergarten students said, "I know all about the Pilgrims. They were leprechauns who came to America to help people build houses." She was very proud of herself!
Sam Hart

Me: In what country do we live?
Student: ’Tis of thee.

Gwen Roll Courtney

When I reprimanded a second grader for calling a classmate “Yo! Sexy mama!,” he looked at me, obviously very surprised, and shrugged. "My mom doesn't mind!"
Suzy Hamme

Preschool boy asks me to tie his shoes. I ask, "What's the magic word?" And he excitedly says, "Abracadabra!" He was right, you know.
Amnet Ramos-Hernandez

Last year one of my kindergarten students came in so excitedly and said, "Miss Rangel! Guess what?!" Not waiting for an answer, he added, "I got a new puppy! And guess what I named him?!" Me (trying to match his enthusiasm): "Wow! A new puppy! How exciting! I don't have a clue—what did you name him?!" Student: "Mr. Rangel!"
Kristen J. Rangel

Me: "OK, today we are reading Harry the Dirty Dog."
Pre-K boy: "Ugh! I read that book in the ’50s!"
Me: "Wow! That's amazing!"
Pre-K boy: "I was alive in the ’50s."
Sheridan Zuniga
 


I had a student rush in all excited to tell me that her ancestors came over on the cauliflower.
Amy St. Ours

 

I worked as an assistant teacher at an art school during the summer, in the elementary-grade studio. These two seven-year-old boys were talking about their ex-girlfriends, which I thought was hilarious, and one said, "She didn't love me for me; she loved me for my money. She was a gold digger." And the other boy replied, "You mean she...?" and mimed picking his nose!
Ashley Htebazile

"Graphite, the black sheep of the carbon family."
Jessie Reffuats

A little girl in after-school care once asked me if I wanted to know what she was thinking about. When I said yes, she calmly said, "Dolphins," and walked away.
Ray Altmann

 

This article was created as part of the social action campaign for the documentary TEACH, produced by TakePart's parent company, Participant Media, in partnership with Bill and Melinda Gates.

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