In Which Jon Stewart Learns That No Snack Is Safe

That is, if it comes from Subway or Hot Pockets or features Kraft Singles.

Willy Blackmore is TakePart’s Food editor. He has written for The Awl, The New Inquiry, and elsewhere.

Jon Stewart can’t catch a break when it comes to eating a snack. In a segment last night, the Daily Show host ran into Subway’s yoga-mat chemical, Kraft’s new “mold inhibitor” used in individually wrapped cheese slices, and recalled beef in Philly Steak & Cheese Hot Pockets. What’s a man to snack on these days?!

Discussing the “controversial chemical” that Subway recently said it would remove from its bread (at an undecided date), Stewart wanted to know just what level of controversy we were talking about. “Does this chemical want to build a mosque at ground zero?” he asked. Upon learning that azodicarbonamide is also used in yoga mats, it suddenly all made sense: "Yoga mats, huh? Maybe that's why every time I eat at Subway I end up in the bathroom in the lotus position."

And while many saw Kraft’s move away from ascorbic acid as a positive step, Stewart was skeptical of the new “natural mold inhibitor” that it’s being replaced with—for patriotic reasons. Kraft Singles, he said, “don’t go bad by definition—because they’re American.”

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