Ted Cruz’s Filibuster Teaches Everyone He Sucks at Star Wars References

Sep 25, 2013
Amanda Deibert is a segment writer and producer at "TakePart Live."

First up, yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz spent over 21 hours protesting Obamacare in what he called a "talking filibuster"—which is both redundant and untrue. According to the U.S. Senate glossary, a filibuster is "any attempt to block or delay senate action on a bill or other matter by debating it at length..."

For example, Senator Rand Paul's successful filibuster was used to get President Obama to define his drone policy, or Senator Smith's filibuster to provide a boy's camp in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington."
By contrast, Cruz's speech was never technically a filibuster, because either way the Senate planned to vote on the budget resolution at noon today.
Okay, so if Senator Cruz spent 21 hours giving a filibuster that doesn't filabust, he must have had a damn good reason. Well, during his speech-a-thon he quoted Ayn Rand's The Foutainhead, saying "It's so much easier to pass judgment on a man than an idea." Okay, let's consider his ideas.
Well, one idea came from Duck Dynasty, when he quoted "redneck rule number one: most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords."
While that is sound advice, I doubt it applies to broken bones or anything else covered by Obamacare.
He also compared Obamacare supporters to Nazi sympathizers—much to the chagrin of fellow Republicans like John McCain who said, "I resoundingly reject that allegation"—and then Cruz really crossed the line by comparing his fight to that of the rebels in Star Wars—although it did provide us with a chance to here his Darth Vader impression.
I don't even know what to do with that, but speaking of fathers, Cruz went on to say that his father "invented Green Eggs and Ham" before going on to read Dr. Seuss's famous book and even link it back to not liking Obamacare.
Of course, we all know the moral of that story is about giving something a try before you decide you don't like it, as is summed up in the famous final line, "I do so like Obamacare. Accessing a doctor just seems fair. I will use it in my house. Everyone will benefit, even my spouse."
I love that book.
Yes, Ted Cruz's speech was an excellent argument—against his own speech. So in the end, what did he accomplish? Well, immediately after his speech the Senate voted 100 to 0 to consider the budget resolution. Yes, I said 100 to 0, meaning Ted Cruz also voted for the thing he spent 21 hours fake filibustering. But hey, something useful did come out of it: Now the world now knows he does a terrible Darth Vader.
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