As read by Jacob Soboroff (right), who is definitely not sexist, or is at least trying his hardest not to be.
It's time to talk about female issues. Before I start, I'd like to state that I'm pro-feminist, but this is a sensitive subject and I don't want to say anything that's even accidentally sexist. So, I've installed "Jacob's Boundry Buzzer for Bros," which will automatically go off whenever I say anything interpreted as sexist.
Of course, the report also found there is still a lot of room left for improvement
. In almost 90 percent of the countries surveyed, at least one law remains on the books to bar women from certain jobs, from opening a bank account, or small things like making independent decisions.
Even here in the U.S., the government is still maneuvering to take healthcare decisions away from women. Just look at this ad produced by Generation Opportunity, where a young woman tells the doctor that she is on Obamacare, which causes the doctor to leave and this to happen:
I know what you're thinking. Why is the Burger King moonlighting as Uncle Sam?
And also, why is a woman's vagina being used as a pawn in an anti-Obamacare ad that has no actual information about Obamacare?
Or maybe you're just happy to see an ad, however creepy, advocating keeping the government out of a woman's womb.
Well, I've been keeping abreast of the situation—[BUZZER]—no, not "a breast," "abreast"—like, I'm informed.
The point is the Koch brothers funded this ad. And as creepy as having Uncle Sam looking at your business may seem, it's not factually accurate, nor as creepy as being forced to undergo an invasive examination if you're considering an abortion.
I agree that law is 100 percent sexist. And you may have to deal with it if you live in one of the 14 states where this law has been funded...by the Cock brothers—[BUZZER]—sorry, look how it's spelled!
But despite all of this, things are getting better: Sure, women's bodies are a hot-button issue with male politicians, and there's a gender wage gap, and Janet Yellen is still having problems getting chosen to be the Federal Reserve Chair despite being highly qualified, but at least the gender wage gap has moved up to 77 cents on the dollar.
No, I'm not saying there isn't room for improvement; it's just my way of saying, "Way to go ladies!"
Oh, that was condescending, wasn't it? Now I just feel like a boob.
Ack, come on, guys! [BUZZER]
I mean, ladies! [BUZZER]
I mean, gals? [BUZZER]
Whew, so what can we do to ensure that women actually get to make their own healthcare decisions?
Why is there still inequality in the workplace in 2013?
And would someone please explain to me what a diaphragm is? [BUZZER]