Dude, no way! That seems about the most apt response to reports that Frito-Lay is about to debut limited-edition Taco Bell-flavored Doritos.
Confused? Well, as the New York Daily News reports, in a sort of bizzaro-world case of market-chasing corporate symbiosis as amped up as a Mountain-Dew-meets-Five-Hour-Energy buzz, Frito-Lay is trying to capitalize on the crazy popularity of Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Tacos—which have become, by far, the most successful product launch in company history (325 million sold and counting!).
So Taco Bell makes a taco with a Doritos shell, now Frito-Lay is making Doritos that taste like a Taco Bell taco. It's basically the same uninspired, blockbuster-sales-seeking company logic that is bringing us Bruce Willis in yet another Die Hard movie.
Of course, this just seems like Fast Food Nation gone haywire, and in a lot of ways it is. But amazingly, the Doritos Locos Taco is just about as (un)healthy for you as Taco Bell’s plain ol’ Crunchy Taco. Both have about 170 calories, according to the Taco Bell website, and the Doritos Locos Taco actually has a gram less saturated fat (though it makes up for it with 50 mg more of sodium).
If you really want to blow your addled mind, forget trying to wrap your head around the expansion of the universe. Instead, imagine if this insane marketing loop went on, like, for-ev-er!
Next, Taco Bell makes a taco out of the Doritos Taco-Bell-flavored chips, then Doritos makes a chip that tastes like the Taco Bell tacos with the Doritos Taco-Bell-flavored chips, and on and on and on and on...
As for the new Doritos chip, they’ll be hitting store shelves for a limited run sometime this spring. And Taco Bell is already test-marketing its newest Doritos-made shells: Get ready for Doritos Cool Ranch Tacos, which will likely launch later this year.
Related stories on TakePart:
• Taco Bell Pulls "Attack Ad" on Vegetables
• Lion Meat Tacos—Exotic Enjoyment or Bestial Stupidity?
• PepsiCo's Crunchy Company Line: 'Doritos Are Not Bad for You'
Jason Best has worked for Gourmet and the Natural Resources Defense Council. He writes about food, sustainability and the environment.