CDC Disaster Preparedness Tips for the Zombie Apocalypse

May 19, 2011
Exec. Prod. of Franchises & Series. He previously reported for HuffPost, L.A. Daily Journal, and Biloxi Sun-Herald.
Sure, you can laugh now. But won't you be happy that you know what to do when you realize they're for real? (Photo: Reuters Pictures). 

If you're one of those people who stays up at night worrying about what to do when the zombies make the jump from Hollywood plotline to Main Street reality, never fear: the Centers for Disease Control has got your back.

The United State CDC—the highly educated folks charged with protecting you from deadly diseases that threaten to wipe out the human population—are planning for all eventualities, including the zombie apocalypse. 

No, we're not joking.The CDC has actually gone so far as to post emergency preparedness tips on their website for how to prepare for a zombie outbreak in America. For real. It's right here. The CDC writes:

"If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas."

Click here for the CDC's exact tips for preparing for the zombie apocalypse

You know what? We're pretty happy here at TakePart HQ that someone is planning for the zombies. And if anyone's gonna do it, we want it to be the CDC, who has played such an important role in helping curb the spread of malaria, HIV, TB, and dozens of other diseases. Something tells us there would be universal freakout when people realize those aren't extras from a Michael Jackson tribute video, but real zombies walking down the street.

(And in case you didn't pick up on it: the CDC post is written with the tongue planted firmly in their bureaucratic cheek. Their "zombie tips" are just general best practices for being ready for any emergency). 

If you're ready for a zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency.

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