Taste One for the Team is TakePart's periodic foray into the world of fast-food stunt meals and gimmick nutrition. We taste these crimes against food so you, our innocent readers, won't have to. This week, we order some seriously stuffed pizza...
Pizza Hut unveiled its stuffed crust pizza back when some of us at TakePart Headquarters were still having soccer team pizza parties in middle school. Why the already questionable concept has been sustained and now revamped a decade later—this time with meat in the crust, too—is as mystifying as moms stalking Justin Bieber.
But, at the suggestion of one of our faithful readers, we decided to give the new gimmick a shot. After all, we care about our readers, and it's our duty to look out for your arteries—pardon: your tastebuds.
The Ultimate Stuffed Crust pizza comes with all the standards of a regular pizza—cheese, sauce, and your toppings of choice—but its crust is comprised of serated bits of dough packed with cheese and meat.
The verdict? Bleh.
The body of the pizza is so salt-soaked, it's hard to distinguish individual toppings (in our case, olives, tomatoes, and pepperonis). "If you like a lot of salt and grease, this is your thing," said one TakePart taster.
On the chance that you do make it to the crust (or start there), you'll meet a mouthful of bland, squishy dough. "Imagine a cheesestick stuffed in a piece of cardboard. That would taste better than this," was one generous review.
The tube of cheese inside the crust is so rubbery solid that it is hard to detect the pepperonis wrapped around it—supposedly the selling point of the pie, the "ultimate" of the Ultimate Stuffed Crust.
As for the nutrition? For a large pizza—the only size Pizza Hut sells—the numbers are unforgiving. If a petite female ate two slices, she'd have eaten 80 percent of her daily calories. Stuffed, indeed.