Pamela Geller—the conservative blogger who brought us the "Ground Zero Mosque" nontroversy and aspires to become the next Ann Coulter—has set her sights on the Campbell Soup Company, claiming that the beloved soup-maker has ties to terrorist organizations.
"Mmm Mmm… Good"? More like "Hmm Hmm… Suspicious!"
At first we balked at the outrageousness of such an insinuation. After all, what could be more wholesome than a warm cup of Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup? But upon further consideration, and after looking very closely for THE CLUES, we realized there may indeed be something to Geller's conspiracy theory chowder.
So, in order to prove that Geller isn't totally Cream of Crazy, here are seven signs Campbell's Soup might actually be supporting terrorists:
7. Campbell's: Sound it out: "Camp" (like terrorist training camp) and "Bells" (like things that ring instead of freedom). It makes sense.
6. Ever noticed that Campbell's soup has thinned out over the years? Got a guess about what they're doing with the money they save from cutting corners with the so-called "Chunky" soups? Funding terrorist projects, that's what.
5. The Campbell's label is red. You know what else is red? Certain colors in various Islamic flags. Nothing is a coincidence!
4. Campbell's just doesn't sound as all-American as Bush's beans, the food in a can preferred by people who love freedom.
3. Andy Warhol used to paint Campbell's soup cans, and he was an artist, and possibly a communist, and definitely some kind of bi-sexual.
2. If you put all the letters in Alphabet soup together, they spell out "Jihad Against America In Praise of Allah!"
1. You know who else has "been ladling" up Campell's soup? Bin Laden.