Stephen Colbert Tells the Ecosphere To Quiet Down

Stephen Colbert chimes in on a noisy in the environment. (Photo: Kevin Lamarque / Reuters)

Here's what satirist Stephen Colbert had to say about two noisy stories percolating in the ecosphere this week:

Shhhhhhh!

Okay, that's our interpretation of his actual words:

"Luckily we can save the planet from unpleasant sound by using new quiet coal technologies and breakthroughs in silent oil. And if we just do that much, eventually the ice caps will melt, the seas will rise, and our coastal cities will be underwater, where it's nice and quiet."

The stories—Frito Lay's decision to ax its biodegradeable SunChips bags because they were too noisy and a New York Times article about how a wind farm is too loud for some Maine residents—are so preposterously silly only a capital "J" journalist like Colbert can do them any justice.

In case you were wondering just how loud the SunChip bag was, watch this: