By Kerry Trueman

Nearly 40% of China’s mammal species are endangered, according to today’s New York Times, but some are more endangered than others. Take the Yangtze giant soft shell turtle, believed to be the largest freshwater turtle in the world; there are only two of these turtles left on the planet, thanks to “pollution, hunting, and rampant development.”

Yes, one’s a female, and the other’s a male, but don’t count your turtle eggs before they’re conceived. He’s 100 years old, and she’s around 80. Faced with the imminent extinction of these creatures, who symbolize health and longevity in Chinese culture, scientists are hoping to save the species through the modern miracle of artificial insemination.

As Dr. Kuchling, the herpetologist overseeing the procedure, told the Times, “The main problem is really to get a viable sperm sample from the old male without harming him in any way.” If that fails, the Times adds, “the two elderly turtles will give it a go the old-fashioned way.”

And if that fails, the Yangtze giant soft shell turtle can always be rebranded as a symbol of procrastination. Nothing like waiting till the last minute to do something about the ecological disaster you’ve unleashed by plundering the planet.